I’ve got this friend. This friend has a problem. My friend has a really crappy boss. Now, I’m not going to reveal whether my friend’s boss is a man or woman; that’s just not important. Let’s just say—just for general cocktail conversation info, mind you—that my friend’s boss has ovaries. Big, gigantic ovaries that pump out enough estrogen to make an entire retirement home’s worth of grandmothers fertile again. She must have a menstrual cycle every three days from the way that she acts, but, again, not that it matters.

My friend’s supervisor is constantly changing her mind about what she wants done and expects my friend to be able to read her thoughts through some undiagnosed form of ESP. Working for her is like reading through one of those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books, only this book is written by a sadistic A-hole where every choice you make leads to misery and death.

She will randomly choose an employee to pick on, accusing them of everything from sexual harassment to theft to sexual theft. I don’t even know what that last one means, but I’m sure she could find some way to pin it on somebody. She’ll ride that particular employee from days to weeks, depending on her mood and the state of her uterus. If they’re lucky, she’ll eventually either move on to another employee or the victim of the week will get hit by a train. Either would be preferable to being in her crosshairs for even one more day.

I told my friend, “Hey, friend, I’m sorry. I wish your boss could be like my boss. Because my boss is super awesome, the best boss ever! I get giddy and dizzy when I think about my boss’s level of absolute coolness. Sometimes I weep because I know that one day I’ll have to retire and I won’t see my boss anymore. That sucks! I hope I die on the way home after my last day so I won’t have to exist with the void of my boss’s absence devouring me from within. Curse my rotten luck to get such an angelic boss sent straight from heaven to her office right beside mine where she can monitor every move I make, which makes me truly ecstatic and joyful, by the way.”

I really can’t solve my friend’s problem with his boss. I can wear one of his shirts, however. In some small way, I can get the message out. No, no need to thank me, friend. I’m just swell like that.

Now you can do the same with this funny, sarcastic, and (slightly) passive-aggressive design.

Text design: My Boss Is A Real Jerk (This is someone else's shirt)

Someone Else's Boss T-shirts and Gifts