I was pretty isolated as a kid growing up in the 80’s. We lived out in the sticks, and I had to spend most of my time entertaining myself. I could’ve learned martial arts, taken up fishing, or played sports, but let’s face it. Geeks don’t do that. No, geeks and dorks squander their money and time amassing huge action figure collections. I had action figures lining every inch of available space in my bedroom. Screw tee ball trophies and signed footballs and junk like that. Meaningless sports memorabilia attesting to a somewhat normal enjoyment and appreciation of the great American pastime would’ve left me zero room to display my mint collection of Constructicons or my new-in-box He-Man/Battle Cat gift set. And that would’ve just been silly.

After reaching high school, though, I realized that hoarding action figures didn’t really prepare me for real life—dating life in particular. For some reason, girls weren’t really impressed that I had a complete collection of Gobots. They gravitated toward the football jocks instead. It’s funny, but at the time I didn’t understand. Now that I’m older, however, it’s all become painfully obvious—I should have never bragged about the Gobots. It just made the girls feel inferior. Yeah, that’s it. Silly me! Still, I can’t help but namedrop about my collections. They may deny it, but that kind of information really does impress the ladies. And that’s what I’m all about. I HAVE THE POWER!!!

Design: My Action Figure Collection Is HUGE




Action Figure Stud T-shirts and Gifts