Being awesome can really be a burden at times. People who are not awesome do not realize this. For instance, other people look up to you and expect you to save blind orphans from busses before they go over cliffs and heroically cool crap like that. That’s just a given. And you’re always getting tapped to be a social magnet to reel in the cool people to parties and stuff. Personally, I hate being used like that.

The thing is, sometimes you’re so smooth that your awesomeness can be overlooked for several seconds. And that’s just not good. At these times, you have to make sure to let everyone know just how wicked awesome you are. There are a few ways to do this. Some choose to flex their biceps. I don’t prefer this method, however, because I keep ripping my good shirts. I’m awesome, but I’m not rich.

Others make out with people randomly in full public view to display their awesomenisity (not a word) by way of social prowess. I refrain from this because I don’t want cooties. All girls have cooties. It’s true; look it up.

So my method is more subtle. I’ll gently enter the soon-to-be common knowledge of my awesomnipotence (still not a word) into regular conversations. It can be done by telling a joke:

Me: “Knock, knock!”
Awesomeless (nope) regular person: “Who’s there? OMG!”
Me: “Me.”
Them: “Me who?”
Me: “Me, the awesome guy!”
Them: *faints*

That takes too long, though, and quite possibly they already know the punch line because the joke is so awesomenatically (that one’s free) funny and popular. So I simply bring up accepted meteorological facts:

“Speaking of the weather…I’M AWESOME!”

Forecast? Awesome! T-shirt